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LASER MISSION

(USA/South Africa 1989) 

(aka) Soldier Of Fortune; Lazer Mission

Directed by BJ Davis Produced by Hans Kuhle Sr. Action by Jannie Wienand Starring: Brandon Lee, Ernest Borgnine, Debi Monahan, Richard Cox, Graham Clarke, Werner Pochath, Karl Johnson, Richard Cox Reviewing: Amazon Prime UK Release Genres: Action / Adventure / Comedy

Rating - 1.5 / 5

Synopsis: Mercenaries, diamonds and laser weapons fill the story of this South African set action-adventure starring Brandon Lee. (84 Mins)

Views: Hired by the CIA to find a German laser scientist (played by veteran Ernest Borgnine), agent Michael 'Mercenary' Gold (Brandon Lee) must get him safely back to the US from South Africa before the Soviets get their hands on him. Famously ridiculed and held by many as one of the greatest bad movies eve made, Laser Mission has the privilege of having the gorgeous Brandon Lee in the starring role – yet at the same time, proves to be the worst film on the late stars short filmography...

Director BJ Davis, who has been a stuntman in Hollywood for many years and has directed a number of television and movie projects, makes sure that Laser Mission falls right into the same category as the American Ninja films - a series of which saw BJ Davis work on part 2, as well as many of the Cannon Films starring Chuck Norris. And in knowing that, Laser Mission could certainly have been part of the Cannon catalogue and even starred the likes of Michael Dudikoff, David Bradley or even Norris himself. At this stage of his career, the young Brandon Lee had only really appeared in Kung Fu: The Movie and starred as the lead in Ronny Yu's awesome Legacy Of Rage, so I'm sure he was open to any leading-man opportunities and probably thought that the James Bond-inspired Laser Mission was going to be a hit. Unfortunately for him, it was far from it!

In a nutshell, Laser Mission is just fucking dreadful, although in a way that you can't help but enjoy it. From its comical and god-awful script, to its dire and hilarious bad acting, the film is 90 minutes of unintentional laughs that come across like Naked Gun meets Moonraker - complete with ridiculous action scenes and lots of nipples. Brandon comes across like a young Bruce Campbell for the most if it, delivering many lines in an exaggerated tone - often trying to imitate his father (which was no doubt pressured by the director). While I do like Brandon Lee and wish we could have had him for a few decades more, I do think he is totally overrated and is only saved by his charm, half-decent moves, and the fact that he's the son of the infamous Bruce Lee. This is definitely not his finest acting moment by any means though, and he thankfully redeemed himself with what was to follow such as the fantastic, Showdown In Little Tokyo, Rapid Fire, and of course, The Crow. I must also mention how Laser Mission is haunted by a repeated rock song called Mercenary Man; a number sung by David Knopfler (the brother of Dire Straits leading man Mark Knopfler) which almost sounds like it's sung for laughs, and often plays when Brandon appears on-screen. While it may be packed full of action, plenty of stunts, explosions and hand-to-hand combat, the film is so poorly directed that all of the above has little-to-no impact when it comes about. Laser Mission is fun, but not in an intentional way, and that's what makes it work. If you are a major fan of bad movies, then you'll love it - otherwise, don't be wasting your time.

Overall: This is one flick you really need to see to believe how bad it is, the best thing about Laser Mission is it's awesome poster!

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